525,600 minutes

A year since I’ve written, and I know because it has been a year since I had the freckle removed. This morning was my annual skin check which made me realize it has been a year. How the heck did that happen? And more importantly, what the heck happened?!? How do you measure a year? (Rent is one of my all-time favorite shows, but that’s another story.)

So, how do you measure a year?

Milestone birthdays? I turned forty in April. I was determined not to dwell on getting older, but to revel in the joy of all the people who love me. My husband who knows more than anyone that what I wanted was a party all about me. My brothers and sisters who helped him make it happen, right down to the decorations, games and cocktails. My friends who came and laughed and celebrated, including my college friend who flew in from England for a 24 hour speed visit. That weekend alone could last me a year.

Memorable vacations? We had a vacation of a lifetime in February when the five of us took a week long cruise in the Eastern Caribbean. New England weather tried to hold us back, but once we finally arrived it was like no other time away. We loved it so much we booked another while onboard. I hope the second can compare to the best vacation ever.

Saying goodbye to a friend? This summer I had to put on a happy face when neighbors of ours moved to California, which had been their dream since the day we met. Although happy for them, it was so hard to say goodbye to a friend who I completely trust, enjoy and respect. It was a reminder of how people pass through our lives, touching you along their way.

Moments of joy with your children? Standing at the side of a pool watching your child struggle to simply finish his first ever 200 meter race and seeing the sheer elation on his face as he climbed out of the water. Listening to your eight year old play Beethoven on the piano for 80 people. Seeing your first born become a teenager and every single day see something new in him.

Dancing in the kitchen. Motorcycle rides. Watching grass grow. Good books. Laughter. Smiles. Joy.

I guess the answer is... lots of ways. If you are lucky.

Bye Bye Bruce

This week I got a new car, which is always an exciting thing, but his week I said goodbye to Bruce... the old car. The memories and emotions I experienced this week as we traded in the old Honda Odyssey were completely unexpected, and yet an interesting reflection on where we have been as a family over the last decade. Ironically, the show Modern Family had a storyline this week about getting rid of an old station wagon and what it means to let that bit of your life go. The episode made me realize maybe we weren’t all that crazy to be a little sad to say goodbye.

When we got the van we had one child, but I was expecting our second. I remember Jason and I were both amazed that we were going to be one of those families with a van, car seats and sippy cups rolling around. It was a new stage in our lives in many ways, primarily with me becoming a full-time stay at home mom. Jason finally was happy with his work, we were settled, and it was our first new car. We had made it. Shiny new minivan in the driveway, gas grill on the deck and two handsome boys. The world was our oyster.

A year later we moved, added another baby and I was thanking my lucky stars for that van with the power doors that you could open with a baby in your arms and a toddler holding your hand. We didn’t yet call it Bruce, that came a few years later when Alanya christened him after the bumbling gray shark in the movie Finding Nemo. It fit, and it stuck.

I can’t begin to imagine the number of hours I have spent in that car, or the memories we have logged in it. Four round-trip drives to Florida. More trips to New Jersey than can be counted. The number of times we have cleaned vomit out of it. The cold baseball games I have watched from inside of it. All the carpool lines I waited in. The screaming I’ve done. The laughs that were laughed. The jokes told. All the happy places it brought us to.

There were many years we had all three kids in car seats and over the last year or two, not only are we down to one, but our oldest can now sit in the front. How did that happen? Where did the time go? A decade gone by. Just like that.

It has been good times, and these are different times. As we sat in the car dealership doing paperwork I looked out and my boring, gray, reliable van sat next to my flashy, shiny, red car, and I got a little sad. A happy sad though. New car, new chapter, new memories.

Picking up pine cones

This afternoon the five of us took advantage of the beautiful weather and went down the street to my parent's house to tidy up a bit. We picked up sticks, pine cones and trash that appeared from under the melted snow. A landscaping crew we were not, but our quick clean up did make a difference. My parents are putting their house on the market in a week or so and in this market, anything that will get buyers through the doors is a good thing. When I think back to our home shopping days, Jason and I drove by more houses than the ones we actually went inside. Outward appearances say a lot.

As I dragged a barrel behind me tossing in pine cones I couldn't help but think about the many times I stood in that space. My family moved to this house when I was nine, and thirty years later I now live a few houses away. Understandably, this whole process of my parents moving is bittersweet and emotional for me too. That house is my other home.

Intellectually I understand and am happy that my parents will be blessed with a beautiful new home that will make life easy for them. Emotionally it's a chapter closing with my childhood home changing hands. Another reminder that life is short and keeps on rolling so you better stop and take a look around. Moving through the backyard I had this mini movie go through my head of moments I hope to always remember.

There was the fabulous retirement party and 60th birthday party my mom threw for my dad in 2000 with a dance floor under a tent, music and caterers scurrying around. I was seven months pregnant at the time and remember crying like a baby half the night overwhelmed by my emotions.

There was the 25th anniversary party my siblings and I organized for my parents in 1988 where we surprised them by flying my sister home early from her semester abroad in England. She hid in a box in the back of a truck and we drove her right into the backyard as my parent's present.

Even earlier, I remember summer nights camping out in the backyard with my sisters and friends, being silly, eating junk, and staying up late, daring each other to run around the house in the middle of the night in our undies.

My grandparents sitting on chairs in the shade on Sunday afternoons simply watching my dad work in the garden.

My own kids playing wiffle ball and running laps around the house.

The spectacular lilac bush that bursts open every Mother's day as a gift to us all, reminding us of my uncle who nurtured it in his own yard before his passing.

Good times. All of them. So much joy in one place. And this is just me picking up pine cones. I haven't even started on the inside. This is going to be more difficult than I thought, but the memories so wonderful to experience again. What good is a memory if you don't get a chance to dig it out again?

Goodbye 2009

For the last few days the newspaper has had end of the year articles on 2009 and how many people are happy to see it go. The economy, Afghanistan and Iraq, H1N1, unemployment…. good riddance. But was it really that bad? More specifically, for my family?

The past year has been a tough one for Jason at work as his employer laid off a number of people, and Jason personally had to let a number of his employees go, people he both liked and respected. Those times were difficult and you thank God your family will still have a job the next week. Jason and I have been there, and it isn’t easy. On the day we were going to tell my parents I was pregnant with their ninth grandchild, and we had decided I would become a full-time stay at home mom, Jason lost his job. It’s scary, but with faith, family and hope, new opportunities come along. I pray that the people Jason had to lay off this year have found something new and rewarding in their lives.

One thing many people take for granted is their health, and back in March we got a reminder that each day is a gift when Jason’s dad suffered a heart attack. Nine months later, Grandpa has joined a gym and is on track to not visit the cardiac ward again. My own Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer the day before Christmas Eve last year. Radiation behind him, current treatment includes hormone shots resulting in hot flashes and other problems, but to quote my good friend Kelly’s dad who is a prostate cancer survivor, “Better than being dead.” Indeed. Here at home we have battled H1N1 and strep throat, sore backs, achey feet and failing eye sight. Better than being dead. Amen.

For our family here at #5, we started 2009 coming off of a major flood and power outage. Our goal in the New Year was to banish our basement of the horrible mold we discovered after the storm, and while not in our plan for home renovations, we now have a beautiful basement family room, complete with an installed generator to continually power our sump pumps. The flip side of that is that our long-term plans to renovate our den and sun room are again pushed out yet again, but for now, my kids are happily playing and watching TV downstairs. Somehow it all works out, and I will live with sagging dark paneling and dirty carpets in the den a little while longer.

Even with all these negatives, there was oh so much joy in our lives this year. On the top of the list for me was celebrating Jason’s grandmother’s 90th birthday with every single member of her family while on our beach vacation in New Jersey. The icing on the cake was that it was also Alanya’s 7th birthday, and she will always have that memory of a very special party. Grandma continues to enjoy each day and her family and I hope this coming August I can cheer once again as she swims in the Atlantic surf.

In 2009 Noah started his years of angst as a Middle Schooler, and promptly brought home a Student of the Month award as well as a spot on the Student Council, Wrestling Team and all-A Honor Roll. Benny continued being Benny, holding a top spot for his age-level on the cross country running team, excelling at piano, and being the sweet, emotional little boy that he has always been. His two favorite words now are "Hippie" and "Hobo", I don't know why. Alanya moved into second grade and finally became a reader, much to my delight. She marched to her own drummer, challenging me by cutting her hair, refusing to wear clothes I bought her and overall being as stubborn as I am. We couldn’t be more blessed.

Jason and I shared a four day respite alone together in Seattle in late March for a family wedding, and celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary in July. He makes me laugh, and I am constantly reminded of all the reasons why we fit together. I am so proud of him and what he does for our family, and I still get a flutter of excitement when I hear the garage door open every night when he comes home.

So there you have it. 2009. I guess it wasn’t so bad after all, just a gentle reminder to not take one moment for granted. Each one is a gift.

Happy New Year and blessings of peace to the world.

My renaissance man

At 5:55 this evening, Noah was one of the last to wrestle at his match. He got through all three minutes which is a great match for someone who stepped on a wrestling mat for the first time a few weeks ago. Right now, not getting pinned in the first minute is the goal. After he finished, we raced off so he could shower, change, eat and get to church by 6:30 to sing in the Christmas Music program with Ben and the rest of the children's choir. Quite the renaissance man for an 11 year old. Enjoy the videos of his triumphs.

Quotes of the week

A few things I could have done without hearing this week....

“I’d like to take a minute to discuss ringworm” – the middle school wrestling coach as I sat in on my first wrestling parent meeting.

“Mom bought me some hoochy mama boots!” – Alanya, after I caved and bought her some Ugg knockoffs.

“There aren’t any flu shots in the state, so don’t even waste your time looking.” – my doctor, after I spent a week trying to track down seasonal and H1N1 shots for me and the kids.

And a few I wouldn't mind hearing again sometime...

“Mom, I got Student of the Month!” - Noah, after finding out he was one of three sixth graders selected at his school.

“In all my years I have never had a student master that piece in one week.” – the piano teacher after Benny knocked her socks off.

“Mom, Daddy brought home roses and wine!” – Alanya, after a really long week for me.

Boy of the Year

Ever since I was a child I can remember my father saying that he was “Boy of the Year” in 1956. Now, if you knew my dad, you’d know that he has been haunted with perfection all of his life. The oldest of three, he was the golden boy, the altar server, the straight A student. He was the first to go to college, on a full athletic scholarship no less, and went on to become a successful and accomplished executive. By the time I was born, it was somewhat difficult to comprehend my father’s humble beginnings. I lived in a big beautiful house, went on family vacations and wanted for nothing - a far cry from the sad and rundown mill town where my grandparents lived when I was a kid. Dad would tell us stories of his childhood and the “Boy of the Year” was always thrown in, almost like frosting on the top. Of course he was. Sure.

Imagine our surprise when this summer my father shared with us that he received a call from the Boys and Girls Club of his youth and was told he was to be inducted into their Hall of Fame. For a second it sounded like a joke, but then it sunk in. He really was that boy, the skinny kid from the poor home who looked for a safe place to hang out with his friends. Not only that, he wasn’t forgotten. People knew him, remembered him, and didn’t want to forget him.

A few weeks ago on a cold Thursday night, I got the kids dressed up and we attended the banquet where my father and two others were honored. All of my siblings, seven of the ten grandchildren, my dad’s two younger brothers and other family and friends were there. My dad’s remarks were sweet and funny and made me cry. I sat there, thinking of the timeline going backwards in his life… 38 years of my life, 46 years married to my mom, 8 years of college and high school I could picture from snapshots and newspaper clippings when, even back then, he still looked like the dad that I have always known. That night however, it was about my dad as a boy. Like my 11 year old Noah, just coming into his own, not quite a little boy but nowhere near a man. It was a snapshot of my dad that I never really took the time to ponder.

It reminds me of the book The Time Traveller’s Wife, where a time travelling husband bounces to the past and spends time with his wife when she was a young girl. Imagine getting the chance to spend time with the people you love most, your husband or parents, at that most perfect time. When the reality of life has yet to set in and they still think they can play for the Red Sox some day, or an afternoon of playing in a pile of leaves truly is the best time ever. Or seeing them as Boy of the Year, ready to conquer the world.

When will it slow down?

I thought with the kids back in school, I would find more time to write, but that has not been the case. The kids completed their fifth day of school today, and I see no sign of things slowing down anytime soon. I haven't even had a day at home with nothing to do but "home" stuff. On the way back from the dump today I thought there may be an hour or so unaccounted for.... but instead of coming home to get a jump on dinner or put away laundry, I stopped in at my mom's and we had a diet coke with our feet up instead. There's time for that other stuff later.

Tonight I ran off for the first PTO meeting at the middle school - my former junior high, but that's another whole blog post. I had direct orders from Jason as I ran out the door that I was to sit quietly in the back, silently support my friends on the board, and not volunteer for anything. For the first time ever he told me that if I take anything more on, he was sure something will suffer. After a little pressing from me, I think he halfway admitted it would be his dinner, or the laundry, the lawn not getting mowed, or our time together that suffered, but I'm not 100% sure on that. I did leave the meeting with a short list of the needs they have in the copy room, the library and the school store though. Better defrost some more veggie burgers.

Our small family get-together

I can't believe weeks have gone by since our vacation on the Jersey Shore. Summer does not offer the same quiet moments to sit down and blog, or perhaps I'm just too exhausted from having the kids home all the time. Either way, the summer can't end without reflecting on our seven days "on the shore" as they say. This was only our second year, but Jason's mother's side of the family has been vacationing there for twenty or more years.

All five of us had a wonderful time playing in the sand, and actually swimming in the ocean - something you rarely get to do up in New England. In New Jersey the water is actually warm enough to stay in for hours, which is exactly what the kids did. Noah would come out to eat and drink and then go back in. His boogie board was permanently attached to his wrist the entire trip.

The main event went far beyond just the five of us though. On the day we arrived, Jason's grandmother celebrated her 90th birthday in grand style with all four of her children, all eight of her grandchildren, as well as her five great-grandchildren. Throw in various spouses and a fiancee and there were 25 of us. Here is the official portrait for the week. It isn't often that a family that spreads from Seattle down to Los Angeles over to Georgia and up to New Hampshire can have a picture like this!

Much to Grandma's delight, she gets to share her birthday with her first great-granddaughter who turned seven this year. Alanya had to get up at three in the morning and endure nearly 10 hours in horrible traffic, but how many of us can say they shared their 7th birthday with their 90 year old great grandma?!

This is one of my favorite pictures we took that week. I happened to glance up and there they were with no one else around, just taking it all in.

For those of you who think we drag Grandma all the way to the beach to sit in a cottage, think again. Every day she makes it down to the beach and most days, with the help of her sons or grandsons, she ventures into the waves for a swim. She draws quite a crowd of onlookers. I actually overheard someone say "Oh my gosh, the old lady from last year is back!" Grandma always finishes her swim with a bunch of us cheering her on as she comes out of the water. It truly is inspiring to see.

More than anything, it is such a gift to be able to spend such a large amount of time with cousins, aunts, and uncles. I think what our family does is a rare thing these days. It isn't easy though, don't get me wrong. One of Jason's cousins was only there about 24 hours before she had to return for work, a few cousins had to leave for a day to work, and a few had to leave early because of other family commitments. But we all wanted to be there and we all made an effort to be in one place for one week. A rare thing for extended families these days. Every year we hope every one of us will return the following August, and maybe one year we won't. Until then, we're going to hold on to every moment.

New Hampshire at its best... part 3!

Our final day up north found us at Attitash, home of the famous mile-long alpine slide. I have very vague memories of riding with my father on the slide back around 1977, and I haven't forgotten it. The experience is still as thrilling more than thirty years later. You take a chairlift halfway up a mountain where you then get on a plastic sled with a control stick. Push it forward and it allows you to roll down the cement track, pull it back and you slow down and eventually stop. The slide curves through the trees and down the mountain for a fabulous ride. I wish I could post some pictures, but for obvious reasons they don't allow you to take photos while riding. All five of us had a ball and learned that going "full throttle" through the turns made the ride thrilling.

Next on the agenda was the bungy-trampoline jump. Our local mall has one of these contraptions set up inside and my kids have begged us to try it. Well, we all tried it and let me assure you, it was a new and fun experience, but once was probably good enough for us. The boys didn't quite understand you had to use your legs to push off from the trampoline, but Alanya got the hang of it quickly. Jason and I tried it too. It was fun, but I can think of other things I'd do first.

After a picnic lunch - it was an absolutely beautiful day - we took the chair lift to the summit. The top of Mt. Washington was in the clouds, but we had a spectacular view. Our last big activity was the climbing wall... another first for most of us. Again, the boys had a hard time with it, never really putting their trust in the attendants who were holding the ropes. I made it about 3/4 of the way up the wall, and Jason made it to the top, but the surprise of the day? Alanya is a climbing fool! She scrambled to the top of the "easy" wall twice, and then mastered the "medium" wall. We were all quite proud of our fearless girl.

Maybe she will be the next to get a motorcycle! Overall, a fabulous weekend, with lots of fun.

New Hampshire at its best... part 2

Santa... in July? Only in New Hampshire at Santa's Village!

I know it sounds crazy, but there is a small, delightful (there is no other word to describe it!) amusement park in northern New Hampshire (actually more than one!) perfect for families with kids ten and younger. Storyland has always been our favorite, but this trip we tried out Santa's Village and we weren't disappointed.

Everything has some kind of Christmas themed twist, like the reindeer on the carousel. Instead of the teacups, you ride in the Little Drummer Boy's Drums. Instead of a sky ride you ride above the park in Santa's sleigh.

I have to admit, the only thing that did get old was the music... Christmas carols being played through the whole park can get on your nerves after a bit.

Finally, a trip to an amusement park isn't complete without a ride on the Yule Log Flume!!

We all had a great time, including Noah, but I know his interest level for a place like this may be fleeting with each passing year. Hopefully though we'll squeeze in a few more of these trips because I'm not quite done yet!

Embracing the teaching moments.. even the difficult ones

Any pediatrician or experienced parent will tell you that you need to grasp onto "teaching moments" when they present themselves. Some subjects aren't always regular dinner talk, take divorce for example. Jason and I will be happily married 14 years next month, and my parents just celebrated their 46th anniversary. So how do you explain something like divorce? When the moments present themselves.

Each of our kids have had an "aha" moment when they realized Jason's parents must have known each other at one time. Grandpa lived here, Grandma lived there and it took awhile before they put two and two together. When Alanya was about three or four years old, Jason's mom was visiting and we were at a baseball game. Jason's father arrived at the field, and Alanya excitedly said "Grandma, I want you to meet my Grandpa!" She was just so excited for two people she loved so much to finally meet. It was sweet and sad all at the same time. That was a moment.

After that incident, once Alanya figured it out, she was obsessed with the idea that Grandma and Grandpa used to be married. In her world of Disney princesses and magical weddings, things like divorce never came after the happily ever after. She would sit on Grandpa's lap and ask him questions about Grandma. Where did they meet? Where did they live? Grandpa answered her, always short and sweet. Once when we were visiting Grandma, Alanya followed her around at her heels asking "but what was your dress like at the wedding?" It was all her way of wrapping her head around the "D" word. Since then, my brother has divorced, Jason's aunt has divorced, there are friends with step-dads and step-moms - each of these small moments for understanding.

Lately there has been a new layer added. Alanya and Ben have put two and two together and have figured out that Jason was a child of divorced people. I know it seems simple, but for them to imagine their daddy as a little boy with parents living apart has been slow coming. To understand what it must be like for children of divorce is not always easy to comprehend, especially when it's your dad. Recently though we have had a new learning moment present itself. Jon and Kate.

For those who haven't heard of Jon and Kate Gosselin (have you been living under a rock?), they are the parents of twins and sextuplets who have been the stars of a successful reality TV show. In the beginning, Jason and I would both watch the show if we stumbled across it. The kids were typical kids and ran the parents ragged, the parents would bicker and be exhausted, and we would thank our lucky stars that our life wasn't nearly as crazy as the Gosselins. About a year ago, my kids started watching the show and enjoyed seeing the eight kids go to an amusement park, or visit a museum, but in the last six months something has happened. The marriage of Jon and Kate has fallen apart on national television with my kids watching. It was rumored that last night they were going to announce they were divorcing (they did) and I told Jason I thought I should watch the show first to see if it was inappropriate for the kids to see. As soon as I said it and I saw Jason's eyes, I wished I could take it back. Since when is divorce "inappropriate"? It is his life. We watched the show together so that we could discuss it with the kids... another teaching moment.

Today while driving, I asked the kids what they thought of the show. At first no one really said anything, but slowly they started to open up. Ben wanted to know if Jon and Kate had told the kids yet, because for him he can put himself in their place and empathize with the kids. Noah said he wished they announced it would be the last show so that the family could have privacy and they could try to work out their problems. Alanya said "I think they shouldn't be sharing their feelings on public television." At six years old she has a better grasp of the situation than all the adults involved in making that show.

I don't know if my kids will continue to watch Jon and Kate, but maybe it will show them that families with divorced parents can still have happy times and still have love. And if not, I'm sure there will be more teaching moments down the road that will get them there.

And to my dad...

Wishing you the best Father's Day ever. You deserve it.

Did ya know?

My friend Becca did a blog post like this a few weeks ago, and even though I talk to her regularly, I learned some things about her family. So for those of you who aren't with us day in and day out... here are a few "Did ya knows".

Did ya know....

...Alanya is FINALLY learning how to shampoo her hair? This has been a long time coming.

...Ben is learning how to play that classic Peanuts piece Linus and Lucy on the piano? I hope he plays it for his recital!

...Noah is making huge strides catching in baseball? He has been working on the quick power throw to second base.

...I am determined this year to stay on top of our flower beds with edging and weeding? I was out there three days this week and am slowly making a dent. By the time I finish the weeds should just be coming up in the first bed!

...I gave Jason a hammock a few years ago but every time I catch him in it I tell him there are things that need to be done in the yard?

...Jason is turning 40 in one week? I told him he could lie in his hammock as much as he wants on his birthday!

Happy Birthday to Me!

I was 5. I was in my favorite outfit, a blouse with denim gauchos and a matching vest. The party was at Papa Gino's and I got to go in the kitchen and make my own pizza. The cake had jelly beans all over it, my mother must have snagged a deal on clearance candy after Easter. And I got a Super Star Barbie. The first time I can remember wishing for a certain gift, and I actually got it. Like my wish really did come true!

Back then who would have thought that 33 years later I'd spend my day with my family, racing out of church afraid we'll be late for our baseball game. Sitting in the sun while my two little ones buy too much candy from the concession stand, and my oldest strikes out three batters. My husband buying flowers and a cake and taking us out for dinner. That little girl never could have imagined how it would turn out. Like a wish really did come true!

Happy Birthday to me.

A little Easter fun

We had a great day on Sunday, despite Ben having a fever and being sick. It's amazing what 8-hour Advil can do to perk a kid up! Here are a few shots from our day. The kids woke us up at 6:30 to look for their baskets. It would have been a whole lot earlier if we hadn't set some ground rules the night before. When I was little my parents always took an Easter morning picture of all of us lined up on the couch with our baskets. Here is this year's picture, and if you look closely behind Alanya you can see the Easter Bunny didn't sneak out in the middle of the night after hiding the baskets!

This picture is for my niece Madison who made these adorable Easter basket cupcakes. I told her I'd post it here for everyone to see. I don't know how she did it, but those Twizzler handles actually worked and you could lift them. Maybe next year Madison will be in charge of all the desserts!

Wishing everyone a belated Happy Easter!

Just a bunch of cashews

We are an interfaith family, and it sometimes takes a week like this, the overlapping of Passover and Holy Week, for Jason and I to stop and reflect on the choices we have made. By no means is being an interfaith family unique in today's day and age, but after nearly 14 years of marriage and being a parent for almost 11, I have come to the conclusion that every interfaith family is different in their own special way and no one does it exactly the same way. There is no rule book on how to do it, and no right or wrong. Jason and I did look for a how-to manual when we first were engaged, and we bought a number of books that we hoped would guide us in what we were attempting to do, but unfortunately nothing was a perfect fit for us.

Our choice to raise our children Catholic while instilling in them a sense of their Jewish cultural heritage may not be a popular one. Conservative Christians may wonder how I can believe in Jesus, and not feel the need for Jason to convert. And on the flip side, conservative Jews likely wince at the thought that we are teaching our kids Jewish traditions and that Jason gets up every Sunday to help me and the kids get ready for church. That's OK. We only need to answer to Him. What we are teaching our children is that we have a universal and all-loving God. Daddy learned about God the Jewish way because his mom is Jewish. Mommy learned about God the Catholic way because her parents are Catholic. Does that mean one way is wrong, and the other right? Of course not. So how could we possibly teach them differently?

Tomorrow night we will celebrate Passover by retelling the story of how the Israelites escaped from slavery in Egypt, just as Jewish families have done for thousands of years. We will follow the Seder, or order of the ritual, and pray the same prayers and eat the same foods. The celebration actually brings me closer to Easter as my family performs the Seder the same way Christ did with his disciples at the Last Supper. He said the same prayers, ate the bitter herbs dipped in saltwater to commemorate the tears and pain of the Israelites, shared wine and broke matzoh. Breaking the unleavend bread and passing it around the table to share with others is what you do on Passover. I wonder how many Christians actually know that.

Describing our interfaith family and traditions is not always easy. For our kids, it is just the way things are in our home. A year or two ago they were talking about how we were Catholic Jews, and one of them declared we were Cashews. Although silly and simplistic, for now the label works. We're just a bunch of cashews.

The wedding guest

When I was six years old my family moved from Massachusetts to Texas. As I look back now as an adult I realize how huge this was because my parents had never lived more than a 20-30 minute drive from my grandparents. Every time we'd say goodbye after a visit the tears would flow. All we had were letters and phone calls, but back then "long distance" was expensive. There was nothing called unlimited minutes, or "friends and family". Later when I was studying overseas it was a similar story. Email was non-existent and every other Sunday my parents would call me at 7pm my time. If I missed the call, forget it, I'd have to wait another two weeks. We have come a long way in the last seventeen years, but I didn't realize exactly how far until our most recent trip to Seattle.

Last weekend every member of Jason's family found themselves in Seattle for his cousin's wedding. Everyone that is except for one very important person... Grandma. At 89 she is the matriarch and inspiration for all of us. Active in her community even today, she didn't begin to slow down until a few years ago when she survived a stroke. So she doesn't ride her bike or go hiking anymore, but she still enjoys each day. The day after the election Jason spoke to her and she told him some people had encouraged her to use an absentee ballot so she wouldn't have to battle potential crowds. Are you kidding? Grandma insisted on going to the polls. It was an exciting day and she wanted to experience it. A trip across town to vote is one thing, but a cross-country flight from New Jersey to Seattle would be too much. Grandma wouldn't be at the wedding.

Jason's aunt had other plans though. Before she left for Seattle she set up her laptop in Grandma's living room. Then the night of the wedding she and her daughter set up a second computer in the ballroom. With the assistance of a family friend that helps care for Grandma, a Skype call was successfully placed, and there she was. Grandma was at the wedding! As each guest arrived, they went over to the computer and said hello to Grandma. She was like an actual guest, except sitting on a table and resembling a MacBook. Shortly before the ceremony started the rabbi came up to us and asked about the laptop, and for a brief moment I was afraid he would tell us it wasn't appropriate for a religious ceremony. Instead he wanted to suggest that we move it to the front row so that Grandma could get a better view!

The wedding began, and as the bride and her parents walked down the aisle a cousin held the laptop up for Grandma to see. The bride smiled into the computer and waved, and when Grandma beamed and waved back the tears started flowing all around. Jason's aunt had done it. Grandma was at the wedding. No wedding is complete without a family portrait, so here it is.

If you look really close, you can see Jason on the laptop screen taking the picture. What a wonderful thing technology can be when it really can make a difference. Who needs "long distance" when you can actually be there??

From the top of the Space Needle!

If anyone was wondering where I've been for the last week, Jason and I took off for four days in Seattle for a family wedding. This photo was taken Sunday from the top of the Space Needle. If I look a little nauseous and like I want to leave it's because I don't like being up high like that. I did my one rotation and then promptly moved to the inside area of the outer deck.

We had a wonderful time, and after I recover from the red-eye flight we took home, I'll be sure to share. Stay tuned...

Auntie Kathy's book club

When I was in Florida recently I was looking through my mom's books for something to read. I picked one up and my mom said, "that was Kathy's. I think you'd like that one."

Kathy was Auntie Kathy, my mom's sister. She passed away a few years ago, far too soon, at the age of 60 from breast cancer. Auntie Kathy was a librarian, an aspiring writer and an overall book enthusiast and bibliophile. History, romance, adventure and science fiction, she loved it all. Kathy wasn't a book snob though, and wasn't embarrassed to be entertained by "fluffy" books or escapist fun. In fact, she introduced me to Clive Cussler, king of all adventure fluff.

Shortly after having my first baby, I was complaining to Kathy about how Noah took so long to nurse I felt like I was wasting time. (No bashing on me for not being the perfect mother enjoying our quiet nursing time... Noah seriously nursed for HOURS. One nursing session would often take an hour from start to finish! Of course, he was my first and I didn't know what the heck I was doing, so maybe that was part of it!) Kathy asked why I wasn't reading when I nursed. When I said I didn't have time to poke around at the library, or read book reviews, or find out what was good, she simply said "get a pen." She proceeded to rattle off her list of favorite books and authors. A few I had read, but most I had not. It was like someone had done the hard work for me. I wrote it all down in a little notebook I carried in my purse at the time (I had pregnancy brain then and couldn't remember anything so Jason bought me a little notebook to jot down things like "buy light bulbs" and "bathroom needs a rug".) I still have it. For ten years it has bounced around from car to junk drawer to my desk. I rarely add to it, but every time I go to throw it away I find Kathy's list in the back and I tuck that little notebook away again.

Jump ahead ten years and my pregnancy brain is now more aptly called busy mommy brain and I still find it frustrating to find good books. So there I stood in Florida, holding a book that was Kathy's. Ok, maybe this wasn't the book she actually held in her hands, it could be for all I know, but as I stood there I remembered my little red notebook from a decade earlier. Staring at the cover of the book I felt a strange stirring in my heart, a strange connection to Kathy. To think I could read a book she had read, one she had loved. I started reading the book, and my mom was right, I do love it. I just went digging through my kitchen and found my little red notebook. There are 38 titles and/or authors just waiting for me. A gift to me from her. It's a little book club for one... Auntie Kathy's Book Club.