What I learned in Junior High

My first child started Middle School recently, and that alone was a bit of adjustment for me. Wasn’t I just negotiating with him to leave his pacifier in the car when we went to tour preschools? Where did the time go? Even more disturbing is thinking that my little boy is being released into that horrible den of pre-teen hell called Middle School. For me it was Junior High, but it’s all the same. You couldn’t pay me to go back, not that I would ever tell Noah that. It is a rite of passage we all need to experience. The cruel twist of fate in my case is that he is going to the same school I did.

Last spring I attended a parent night and as I walked through the doors of the school for the first time in 23 years my stomach dropped a bit. It looks a little different with a new wing, and new color scheme, but so much is exactly the same. The memories came rushing back, both good and bad, but mostly the bad.

All summer it drove me crazy that all I could remember was the nasty girls, the insecurities and the teasing boys. I remember planning my outfit for the first day of school, and then once I got to my homeroom, immediately realizing I looked completely wrong; the sleepless nights; standing against the wall ready to vomit when a slow song was played at a dance. I decided to dig deep and remember some of the positives, and indeed, I did learn a few things about life in Junior High.

People can be cruel. They may regret it moments later or years later, but sometimes something can come over a person and once the words come out they can’t be taken back.
It’s never too late to apologize. When I was in college I ran into a girl from Junior High who had done something horrible to me. We stopped to say hello and to my shock, she apologized. I’m sure it wasn’t easy, but it must have been bothering her for years. I’m not sure I would have been that courageous, but she taught me it is never too late.
Challenging yourself is better than taking the easy road. In 8th grade, due to a scheduling conflict, I got put into a Social Studies class that was a level lower than I normally took. I was the teacher’s pet, got perfect grades, and barely had to lift a finger. And I was bored silly.
Life-long friendships are possible. I am still close to two of my friends from Junior High (Kelly? Mindy? Are you reading this?), and although our lives have taken us to different places and different parts of the country, when we do connect it is effort-less.
Family will always pick you up. The joke in my family is that whenever someone said or did anything hurtful to me (which happened more than necessary in Junior High) my mom and sisters would always respond with “they are just jealous of you”. It probably wasn’t always true, but it always made me feel better.

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all bad by any means. I do remember being a part of the school volleyball team, the all-night slumber parties, the new independence, my first “boyfriend” and first kiss in the school gym. More than anything, I have to laugh at it all now as an adult. The things that seemed so important then are so small in the larger scheme of things. My wish for Noah is that he will figure that out earlier than later.

When will it slow down?

I thought with the kids back in school, I would find more time to write, but that has not been the case. The kids completed their fifth day of school today, and I see no sign of things slowing down anytime soon. I haven't even had a day at home with nothing to do but "home" stuff. On the way back from the dump today I thought there may be an hour or so unaccounted for.... but instead of coming home to get a jump on dinner or put away laundry, I stopped in at my mom's and we had a diet coke with our feet up instead. There's time for that other stuff later.

Tonight I ran off for the first PTO meeting at the middle school - my former junior high, but that's another whole blog post. I had direct orders from Jason as I ran out the door that I was to sit quietly in the back, silently support my friends on the board, and not volunteer for anything. For the first time ever he told me that if I take anything more on, he was sure something will suffer. After a little pressing from me, I think he halfway admitted it would be his dinner, or the laundry, the lawn not getting mowed, or our time together that suffered, but I'm not 100% sure on that. I did leave the meeting with a short list of the needs they have in the copy room, the library and the school store though. Better defrost some more veggie burgers.