What I learned in Junior High

My first child started Middle School recently, and that alone was a bit of adjustment for me. Wasn’t I just negotiating with him to leave his pacifier in the car when we went to tour preschools? Where did the time go? Even more disturbing is thinking that my little boy is being released into that horrible den of pre-teen hell called Middle School. For me it was Junior High, but it’s all the same. You couldn’t pay me to go back, not that I would ever tell Noah that. It is a rite of passage we all need to experience. The cruel twist of fate in my case is that he is going to the same school I did.

Last spring I attended a parent night and as I walked through the doors of the school for the first time in 23 years my stomach dropped a bit. It looks a little different with a new wing, and new color scheme, but so much is exactly the same. The memories came rushing back, both good and bad, but mostly the bad.

All summer it drove me crazy that all I could remember was the nasty girls, the insecurities and the teasing boys. I remember planning my outfit for the first day of school, and then once I got to my homeroom, immediately realizing I looked completely wrong; the sleepless nights; standing against the wall ready to vomit when a slow song was played at a dance. I decided to dig deep and remember some of the positives, and indeed, I did learn a few things about life in Junior High.

People can be cruel. They may regret it moments later or years later, but sometimes something can come over a person and once the words come out they can’t be taken back.
It’s never too late to apologize. When I was in college I ran into a girl from Junior High who had done something horrible to me. We stopped to say hello and to my shock, she apologized. I’m sure it wasn’t easy, but it must have been bothering her for years. I’m not sure I would have been that courageous, but she taught me it is never too late.
Challenging yourself is better than taking the easy road. In 8th grade, due to a scheduling conflict, I got put into a Social Studies class that was a level lower than I normally took. I was the teacher’s pet, got perfect grades, and barely had to lift a finger. And I was bored silly.
Life-long friendships are possible. I am still close to two of my friends from Junior High (Kelly? Mindy? Are you reading this?), and although our lives have taken us to different places and different parts of the country, when we do connect it is effort-less.
Family will always pick you up. The joke in my family is that whenever someone said or did anything hurtful to me (which happened more than necessary in Junior High) my mom and sisters would always respond with “they are just jealous of you”. It probably wasn’t always true, but it always made me feel better.

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all bad by any means. I do remember being a part of the school volleyball team, the all-night slumber parties, the new independence, my first “boyfriend” and first kiss in the school gym. More than anything, I have to laugh at it all now as an adult. The things that seemed so important then are so small in the larger scheme of things. My wish for Noah is that he will figure that out earlier than later.