Michael Jackson... gone?

I had a poster just like this one on my bedroom wall when I was eleven or twelve. In fact I had three larger than life posters of Michael Jackson over me bed. I remember when I was in seventh grade I went on a three or four day trip to Quebec with my French class and I listened to my Thriller cassette tape on my Walkman over and over and over again. It's a long ride to and from Quebec and I'm surprised the hinge on the Walkman door didn't break. Back then he was cute and entertaining and a star. Remember anxiously waiting for his latest Pepsi commercial?

He was too young to die, and the man had issues, but boy did he make this pre-teen girl happy in her day. I would try to moonwalk until my toes cramped up. I've pulled a few muscles trying to do that slap your knee - whip your body around thing he does. And who could forget the fabulous jackets we had with the puffy padded shoulders and stand up collars? Is this how my mom felt when Elvis Presley died?

He was the soundtrack of that horrible time in my life called junior high. It wasn't so much him, as it was everything about him that permeated kids my age then... the music, the dances, the clothes, and yes the one glove. You know you tried it, at least once. We all did before we felt stupid and put the other one on too. Michael was the only one that could pull it off.

Embracing the teaching moments.. even the difficult ones

Any pediatrician or experienced parent will tell you that you need to grasp onto "teaching moments" when they present themselves. Some subjects aren't always regular dinner talk, take divorce for example. Jason and I will be happily married 14 years next month, and my parents just celebrated their 46th anniversary. So how do you explain something like divorce? When the moments present themselves.

Each of our kids have had an "aha" moment when they realized Jason's parents must have known each other at one time. Grandpa lived here, Grandma lived there and it took awhile before they put two and two together. When Alanya was about three or four years old, Jason's mom was visiting and we were at a baseball game. Jason's father arrived at the field, and Alanya excitedly said "Grandma, I want you to meet my Grandpa!" She was just so excited for two people she loved so much to finally meet. It was sweet and sad all at the same time. That was a moment.

After that incident, once Alanya figured it out, she was obsessed with the idea that Grandma and Grandpa used to be married. In her world of Disney princesses and magical weddings, things like divorce never came after the happily ever after. She would sit on Grandpa's lap and ask him questions about Grandma. Where did they meet? Where did they live? Grandpa answered her, always short and sweet. Once when we were visiting Grandma, Alanya followed her around at her heels asking "but what was your dress like at the wedding?" It was all her way of wrapping her head around the "D" word. Since then, my brother has divorced, Jason's aunt has divorced, there are friends with step-dads and step-moms - each of these small moments for understanding.

Lately there has been a new layer added. Alanya and Ben have put two and two together and have figured out that Jason was a child of divorced people. I know it seems simple, but for them to imagine their daddy as a little boy with parents living apart has been slow coming. To understand what it must be like for children of divorce is not always easy to comprehend, especially when it's your dad. Recently though we have had a new learning moment present itself. Jon and Kate.

For those who haven't heard of Jon and Kate Gosselin (have you been living under a rock?), they are the parents of twins and sextuplets who have been the stars of a successful reality TV show. In the beginning, Jason and I would both watch the show if we stumbled across it. The kids were typical kids and ran the parents ragged, the parents would bicker and be exhausted, and we would thank our lucky stars that our life wasn't nearly as crazy as the Gosselins. About a year ago, my kids started watching the show and enjoyed seeing the eight kids go to an amusement park, or visit a museum, but in the last six months something has happened. The marriage of Jon and Kate has fallen apart on national television with my kids watching. It was rumored that last night they were going to announce they were divorcing (they did) and I told Jason I thought I should watch the show first to see if it was inappropriate for the kids to see. As soon as I said it and I saw Jason's eyes, I wished I could take it back. Since when is divorce "inappropriate"? It is his life. We watched the show together so that we could discuss it with the kids... another teaching moment.

Today while driving, I asked the kids what they thought of the show. At first no one really said anything, but slowly they started to open up. Ben wanted to know if Jon and Kate had told the kids yet, because for him he can put himself in their place and empathize with the kids. Noah said he wished they announced it would be the last show so that the family could have privacy and they could try to work out their problems. Alanya said "I think they shouldn't be sharing their feelings on public television." At six years old she has a better grasp of the situation than all the adults involved in making that show.

I don't know if my kids will continue to watch Jon and Kate, but maybe it will show them that families with divorced parents can still have happy times and still have love. And if not, I'm sure there will be more teaching moments down the road that will get them there.

And to my dad...

Wishing you the best Father's Day ever. You deserve it.

Happy Father's Day...

Some of my favorite pictures of Jason being a dad. You are the best! Happy Farter's Day... tee hee!

Congratulations Noah!

My handsome son had a promotion ceremony today as he leaves elementary school. He was one of about a dozen kids to receive a presidential award for academic excellence, all A's for both fourth and fifth grades. We are so very proud of him.

I didn't know if I would get emotional, but when all the kids stood up and sang the class song, The Climb by Miley Cyrus, Noah was looking right at me and singing and I lost it.

I know, this picture of him in catching gear has absolutely nothing to do with his promotion... but isn't he handsome? No, I'm not proud.

Another year down

Wasn't it just yesterday that I took this picture? All three of my kids getting on the bus together starting grades one, two and five. They will never all be on the bus together again, and it isn't until I write this that I realize this picture is so special. Where did the year go?

Alanya will finish first grade on Monday, and she has come a long way. It was a rocky start, but her reading has greatly improved and she will do just fine. Her teachers compliment her for contributing yet knowing when to sit quietly and listen. She is enthusiastic and has many friends. I have been joking with her this week that I spoke to the principal because I want her to stay in first grade forever. I want her to grow up, but there is something about a little girl in first grade. You just want to freeze it and keep it forever.

Ben continues to shine and second grade kept him busy as the teachers challenged him to work even harder. Some weeks he had more homework than our fifth grader, but he handled it all with a meticulous perfectionism, wanting everything to be just right. His handwriting is beautiful, and he sometimes is old beyond his years as he chit chats with adults - one of his favorite things to do. At the same time, he's still a little boy who loves a good potty joke. Ben continues to surprise me. Today he brought home a paper and he was supposed to draw a picture of himself in the future. He drew himself at a computer with a big sign over his head that says "MIT". That's Benny.

Noah is finishing his years at elementary school and will be moving to the middle school in the fall. He is my sensitive child who cries watching TV shows. He is outgoing, and a rule follower. His handwriting is atrocious, but his teachers still love him. He listens, questions and participates. Even though we call him "No" for short, he never says no when given a chance to do something at school. He worked in the school store for a month which required us to drive him to school early every day. He was a member of "the Green Team" at school to study and analyze waste in order to educate the other students on where they could make improvements. He sang in the choir and participated in Math Olympiad. He chose to participate in a competitive book club that met weekly and competed with other teams. Most memorable for me, he sat on a committee with me, teachers and administrators that presented our school for a statewide award for excellence. (We finished in the top three as a finalist) Middle school gets me nervous, but I won't have to worry about Noah. He will always find his way.

Another year gone and my little ones are not so little anymore.

Just a mother bear and her cub

About two weeks ago I was at church with the kids and my parents. We had just returned from receiving communion and were kneeling when I realized Ben was fainting. He swayed one way towards my mom, then straightened himself, but before I could do anything he fell over, hitting his head as he went. My mother and I, still trying to figure out what was happening, tried to lift him, but his legs were stuck under the pew. We finally got him up and on the bench and to this day I can picture his face. His eyes were wide open, but he wasn't there.

By this time the people around us knew something was wrong, and someone jumped up to go get water. In the second row, my choice was to go out the door closest to me in the front of the church and end up in the hot sun, or get him to the back of the church where the exit and bathrooms were. I scooped up my tall, gangly, 65 pound eight year old and started for the back. He was dead weight, and I was in heels, and as crazy as it sounds, what was running through my head was I was afraid my silk skirt was stuck in my underwear.

About halfway through the church Ben came out of it and started wailing, afraid and confused. I pulled him closer and whispered to him that everything would be all right. I finally got to the back and laid him down on the cold tile floor. A cup of water appeared. Damp paper towels appeared. Slowly he started to look like himself again. The whole experience lasted just a few minutes, but was scary and surreal.

For the next few days I would see people in the grocery store, or at a baseball game that I knew went to our church, but no one ever said anything. Maybe it wasn't as disruptive and crazy as I had imagined it. But a few days ago a dad stopped me at school and asked how Ben was doing. I told him Ben was fine and hopefully it was nothing. He said when it happened he made a move to get up and help me carry Ben, but he said I was like a mother bear and her cub, and the look on my face told him to just stay out of my way. I laughed when I heard this, but the more I reflected on this I realized he was right. Something kicks in when your child is hurting or in need and you go into auto pilot. I have often thought what would I do if the kids had an accident, or if there was an emergency, and a small part of me is relieved to know that I hopefully won't panic. My mother bear will come out.

Crazy Hair Day!!

The Laundry Room

Does anyone really love to do laundry? If so, I have yet to meet them. I have owned two homes in my life and in both houses the washing machine has been in a yucky basement with a cement floor and it was miserable and dreary to spend much time there. This picture shows where I have done laundry for the last seven years. Not so pleasant. So how wonderful would it be to be able to design my new laundry area?

As we worked out the plans for our partially finished basement we knew we still had to have the washing machine, dryer, deep freezer, sump pump and dehumidifier in the room somehow. Everything stretched along the far wall and I assumed there was nothing we could do. It wasn't until our contractor suggested building a laundry closet and reconfiguring things a bit that we realized we could have a "real" family room down there. Coming into the room you'd likely not know what was behind the louvered doors.


Tucked in the corner is everything neat and out of the way.

Best of all, I got to think about how I like to do things and Bob the Builder (that's what the kids call him) figured out how to make it all work. My favorite thing is the two levels of drying racks and shelves so that I can easily hang laundry. I'm proud to say one day this week I ran three loads of wash but only one load in the dryer.

For once my new laundry room is exactly the way I'd want it. I won't go so far as to say I enjoy doing laundry now, I haven't completely lost my mind, but if you have to do it, you might as well enjoy the space you are in!

The basement!

This series of pictures shows the complete transformation of our basement in the last six months. December 12th we had a devastating ice storm that resulted in a 5 day power outage and a flooded basement. (Read about it here if you forget!) When the insurance company came to assess the damage, we discovered extensive mold behind the paneling. (For juicy mold pictures look here!) This is what the basement looked like, an odd layout of five rooms with nasty dark walls and a cement floor.

This is what the basement looked like after they ripped everything out in January.

And this is what it looks like now! We never intended on putting a family room in the basement, but somehow it all fell into place. Our new installed generator that turns on automatically during a power outage will prevent any future water damage!

Stay tuned for pictures of my favorite part... my laundry room!