525,600 minutes

A year since I’ve written, and I know because it has been a year since I had the freckle removed. This morning was my annual skin check which made me realize it has been a year. How the heck did that happen? And more importantly, what the heck happened?!? How do you measure a year? (Rent is one of my all-time favorite shows, but that’s another story.)

So, how do you measure a year?

Milestone birthdays? I turned forty in April. I was determined not to dwell on getting older, but to revel in the joy of all the people who love me. My husband who knows more than anyone that what I wanted was a party all about me. My brothers and sisters who helped him make it happen, right down to the decorations, games and cocktails. My friends who came and laughed and celebrated, including my college friend who flew in from England for a 24 hour speed visit. That weekend alone could last me a year.

Memorable vacations? We had a vacation of a lifetime in February when the five of us took a week long cruise in the Eastern Caribbean. New England weather tried to hold us back, but once we finally arrived it was like no other time away. We loved it so much we booked another while onboard. I hope the second can compare to the best vacation ever.

Saying goodbye to a friend? This summer I had to put on a happy face when neighbors of ours moved to California, which had been their dream since the day we met. Although happy for them, it was so hard to say goodbye to a friend who I completely trust, enjoy and respect. It was a reminder of how people pass through our lives, touching you along their way.

Moments of joy with your children? Standing at the side of a pool watching your child struggle to simply finish his first ever 200 meter race and seeing the sheer elation on his face as he climbed out of the water. Listening to your eight year old play Beethoven on the piano for 80 people. Seeing your first born become a teenager and every single day see something new in him.

Dancing in the kitchen. Motorcycle rides. Watching grass grow. Good books. Laughter. Smiles. Joy.

I guess the answer is... lots of ways. If you are lucky.

The Freckle

Lay out. Get color. Bake. Fry.

I don’t think there is anyone who hasn’t gone through the phase of trying to be a tanned goddess. Usually it happens when you have no grasp on consequences and what could happen down the road. We lay there with friends on a blanket, maybe with a small amount of sunblock, but not reapplying, or maybe with none at all. At least a sunburned nose was a badge that you were someplace cool romping in the waves or sitting in the sand.

I like to think of myself as being somewhat intelligent, but even though my mom has had numerous basal cell and squamous cell lesions removed, in my teens I couldn’t see beyond the short-term. A day at the beach with friends... got to get some color! A semester on the Mediterranean... I need to come home looking like a bronze statue! I soon realized I would never tan easily, and by my early 20’s embraced my fair complexion. Perhaps by then it was too late. The damage could have been done.

Two weeks ago a freckle that I always sort of liked on my stomach was deemed “suspicious”. The biopsy came back as a moderately atypical dysplastic nevus. I didn’t know what it meant either. I was referred to another dermatologist that specializes in surgery and what I found out was eye-opening. My mole had nothing to do with my mother’s history of skin cancer, rather my freckle that had been removed was on the spectrum of melanoma. This is a whole other ball game. Luckily it wasn’t melanoma yet, but the cells potentially could develop that way.

I went home surprised and confused. Although basal cell and squamous cell cancers are a result of accumulated sun exposure over a number of years, I was shocked to discover that it is believed melanoma can result from one or two severe burns. One or two. I can remember at least three or four major sun burns over the years which means there were many more. One or two.

Yesterday I returned to the doctor and an oval shaped section of skin about an inch long was removed around the freckle. The entire skin tissue, down to the fat, was removed and I was stitched back up. I will now have to be diligent with regular skin checks as well as personal checks at home. I need to get Jason to the doctor too. All of a sudden every mole scares me.

My sister calls me frail and pale, and I guess I will carry my pale banner proudly. Better than golden and buried.

Bye Bye Bruce

This week I got a new car, which is always an exciting thing, but his week I said goodbye to Bruce... the old car. The memories and emotions I experienced this week as we traded in the old Honda Odyssey were completely unexpected, and yet an interesting reflection on where we have been as a family over the last decade. Ironically, the show Modern Family had a storyline this week about getting rid of an old station wagon and what it means to let that bit of your life go. The episode made me realize maybe we weren’t all that crazy to be a little sad to say goodbye.

When we got the van we had one child, but I was expecting our second. I remember Jason and I were both amazed that we were going to be one of those families with a van, car seats and sippy cups rolling around. It was a new stage in our lives in many ways, primarily with me becoming a full-time stay at home mom. Jason finally was happy with his work, we were settled, and it was our first new car. We had made it. Shiny new minivan in the driveway, gas grill on the deck and two handsome boys. The world was our oyster.

A year later we moved, added another baby and I was thanking my lucky stars for that van with the power doors that you could open with a baby in your arms and a toddler holding your hand. We didn’t yet call it Bruce, that came a few years later when Alanya christened him after the bumbling gray shark in the movie Finding Nemo. It fit, and it stuck.

I can’t begin to imagine the number of hours I have spent in that car, or the memories we have logged in it. Four round-trip drives to Florida. More trips to New Jersey than can be counted. The number of times we have cleaned vomit out of it. The cold baseball games I have watched from inside of it. All the carpool lines I waited in. The screaming I’ve done. The laughs that were laughed. The jokes told. All the happy places it brought us to.

There were many years we had all three kids in car seats and over the last year or two, not only are we down to one, but our oldest can now sit in the front. How did that happen? Where did the time go? A decade gone by. Just like that.

It has been good times, and these are different times. As we sat in the car dealership doing paperwork I looked out and my boring, gray, reliable van sat next to my flashy, shiny, red car, and I got a little sad. A happy sad though. New car, new chapter, new memories.

Another First Day

Back to school.... again. I'm not quite sure where the summer went, but I do know everyone here was ready for the kids to go back. I love this time of year, and always feel a sense of excitement and renewal. Maybe that's the student in me still trying to come out. Usually about a week before the first day I start making lists of lunch box ideas, dinners to make, outfits for the kids to wear. This year I didn't.

I didn't know why this year was different. I was very laid back right up to the night before. Transition the kids back into an early bedtime? They'll adjust. Go out and get new clothes? It's hot now, and won't be in a few weeks, why bother. I was cool as a cucumber.

It wasn't until the kids had gone to bed the night before the first day that it hit me. This was the first First Day of School ever that I didn't have a child making a major transition. I actually got out a piece of paper to write it all down to make sure. Last year Noah started middle school. Before that Alanya started first grade. Before that Ben started first and Alanya kindergarten. Before that Ben started kindergarten. And so on, back through first days of preschool all the way to Noah starting school. I was sort of amazed.

So this year I have a third grader, a fourth grader and a seventh grader. All big kids. How did that happen? They all love school and are happy to be there. I must have done something right with all those lists I used to make.

Happy Day to My First Baby!

Today was a big day. He turned twelve, and he finally got the green light to end "restricted activity" since breaking his clavicle in May. He wanted to go right out and get a new helmet to replace the damaged one from the accident so that he could get back on that blasted rip stick of his. And he did. His legs will be hurting tomorrow, but I'm proud of him for getting right back on it after such a painful injury.

As the birthday boy, he also got to pick dinner and we dined on Jamie Oliver's Chili Beef Nachos. His new favorite.

I never could have guessed back when he was born what a great kid he would be today. I think I'll keep him. Happy Birthday!

A little veg, a little bean, a little Mmmmm.....

This spring Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution was the big thing in our house. The funky British chef with the funny accent set out to change the way an American town looks at food, mostly through the public school lunch program. My kids could relate to the cafeteria meals, cranky lunch ladies and the difficult choices such as white over chocolate milk. I found myself saying things like, "What would Jamie say about that?" or "Jamie would love this with all the veg!"

Those who have eaten a meal or two with my family know that I have one child that will eat anything, one that won't, and one somewhere in the middle. So when they were pestering me to make Jamie Oliver's Chili Beef Nachos (said in a child's bad English accent) I finally felt like I had to give in and try it. On the show, Chili Beef Nachos was one of the favorite hot lunch meals at the elementary school and my kids were more than intrigued. Google to the rescue, and the recipe was mine.

Today I set out to make it, and thank goodness I started early as it wasn't simple. No wonder Alice the Cafeteria Lady was cranky!

Step one was to make the Hidden Veg Sauce, and you need some heavy duty equipment to pull it off. With my Kitchen Aid grater attachment (a food processor would work) I grated two big carrots, two zucchini and half a butternut squash resulting in a huge bowl of veg. To that add two diced onions and two diced red peppers, cook it all with 5 cups of canned tomatoes and some spices and get all that "lovely veg goodness" going. Next take out the Kitchen Aid hand blender and "blitz it up". I actually had to read the recipe a few times to figure out what "blitz" meant, thank goodness I had a "blitzer" to make the job easy. Ok, so there you have a huge pot of pureed veg sauce. Step one done. Phew.

Time to make the chili. Chopped onion, a pound of hamburger, add to that a quart, yes a quart, of Hidden Veg Sauce. Then add two cups of pureed kidney beans. See how this is getting too good to be true? The thought that my kids would eat all these veg and beans... I was starting to question this project. Cook it all up, throw in some seasoning, and top it off with a bunch of corn. I put it aside and waited for dinner time with high hopes.

I sat down with my fellas (Alanya is with my sister for a few days) and told them how Jamie said to put together the nachos. A handful of chips, a hearty serving of chili on top, sprinkle of cheese, shredded lettuce, diced tomatoes, and I added some salsa and nonfat plain yogurt. They jumped right in and to my shock and delight, the boys were Mmmming and Yummming and wolfing it down. I have never been a mother who hides ingredients from her kids, and they both knew exactly what was in it. Somewhere in his second serving and in between bites, the picky 11 year old said, "It's all in the presentation."

So, in the end, it was worth it. Jamie does know what he's doing after all if he can get my kids to eat something with seven veg and beans with even more veg sprinkled on top. My pediatrician told me when Noah was about 6 that Noah would not eat chicken fingers at his wedding. I wasn't so sure then, but there may be hope!

The clavicle

By now I'm sure most of my friends and family have heard the story of Noah breaking his clavicle two weeks ago. He was on a ripstick and tried to jump off when he got going to fast at the top of a hill. The xray says it all. It was my first broken bone ever as a parent and I won't go into all the details. Instead, a few things I'm thankful for.

• The Helmet. Noah insisted he didn't hit his head, but a few days after the accident I went and looked at it. Sure enough there was evidence that he hit his head. I only hope my kids continue to wear their helmets because they know it's the right thing to do, not because we said so. Just this evening my mother in law called to tell me that a 26 year old family friend of hers died in a skateboard accident yesterday. No helmet.
• It was the Left. Noah writes with his right hand so his transition back to school wasn't so difficult. The worst part was having to use a new rolling backpack, according to him. But the left hand is getting use even with his sling. I have caught him using his PSP, playing wii and balancing a laptop on his lap.
• Health Insurance. Since the fall less than two weeks ago he has had three doctor's appointments and two sets of xrays and we are just getting started. Cha ching. Health insurance is a beautiful thing when you need it.
• The Timing. No time is a good time, but I realize this is a good time of year for this to happen. School is winding down, he doesn't need to wear a heavy coat, he can't slip and fall on the ice... Ok, maybe I'm reaching now.

He'll be ok, and eventually be well enough to get back on that wretched ripstick of his, which he was getting very good at actually. Ironically, I sort of enjoy seeing him slow down for a little bit. We talk in the car when I drive him to and from school. We hang out together before the little ones get home. He lets me cuddle and smooch him a little more than normal. I better take it while I can get it before the sling comes off and he's too cool for his mom again.